The Fourth Mindfulness Training

Snowflower Sun August 2026

Based on a Dharma Reflection by Dave Zeman

 Preamble to the Five Mindfulness Trainings

 The Five Mindfulness Trainings represent the Buddhist vision for a global spirituality and ethic. They are a concrete expression of the Buddha’s teachings on the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path, the path of right understanding and true love, leading to healing, transformation, and happiness for ourselves and for the world. To practice the Five Mindfulness Trainings is to cultivate the insight of interbeing, or Right View, which can remove all discrimination, intolerance, anger, fear and despair.

 If we live according to the Five Mindfulness Trainings, we are already on the path of a bodhisattva. Knowing we are on that path, we are not lost in confusion about our life in the present or in fears about the future.

 The Fourth Mindfulness Training: Loving Speech and Deep Listening

 Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people, ethnic and religious groups, and nations. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy and hope.

 When anger is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak. I will practice mindful breathing and walking in order to recognize and to look deeply into my anger. I know that the roots of anger can be found in my wrong perceptions and lack of understanding of the suffering in myself and in the other person. I will speak and listen in a way that can help myself and the other person to transform suffering and see the way out of difficult situations.

 I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to utter words that can cause division or discord. I will practice Right Diligence to nourish my capacity for understanding, love, joy and inclusiveness, and gradually transform anger, violence and fear that lie deep in my consciousness.

The Four Noble Truths

I would like to begin with one sentence from the preamble to the trainings: “They (the Five Mindfulness Trainings) are a concrete expression of the Buddha’s teachings on the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path.”

When we read the trainings, we can see this is true. The first sentence of all the trainings begins with the words “Aware of the suffering caused by…” The word “aware” is a good one-word definition of mindfulness, which is one segment of the eightfold path. If we are not aware of something, it doesn’t exist in our world. A big example of this might be white privilege. Another example, large to my partner and I, though smaller in the world view, is that in year four our Rhododendron finally bloomed. We are happily mindful of that. Beautiful!

The next part of the opening phrase is “of the suffering.” This is the First Noble Truth. The simple recognition that in this world suffering exists. The next part is “caused by” which is the Second Noble Truth—that there is a cause of this suffering. In just six words, Thich Nhat Hanh (or Thay, which means teacher in Vietnamese) has incapsulated mindfulness and the First and Second Nobel Truths. That amazes me.

We then come to the Third Noble Truth which is there can be a cessation of that suffering. In the fourth mindfulness training Thay uses phrases like ”I’m committed,” “I am determined” and “I will practice.” These are concrete instructions on how to relieve our suffering.

The Fourth Noble Truth provides us with the Eightfold Path. In this training Thay talks about Right Diligence in addition to being aware, which is Right Mindfulness. I always think of the Eightfold Path as starting with Right Mindfulness or meditation, leading to Right Concentration, which gives us insight leading to Right View, followed by Right Thinking, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood and Right Diligence.

The Fourth Mindfulness Training offers us several phrases that continue our recognition of the four Noble Truths. “I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening to relieve  suffering.” “Knowing words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to speaking truthfully with words that inspire confidence, joy and hope.” “I will speak and listen in a way that can help myself and the other person transform suffering.” These sentences include action words like relieve, inspire and transform. All of these are the Fourth Noble Truth or the path to the cessation of suffering.

Words can Create Happiness or Suffering

One of the most important lines in this training for me is, “Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering.” We have all probably been the recipients of someone’s words that have harmed us. Perhaps it was someone who was having a bad day or someone who without really thinking wounded us with an insensitive remark. Or maybe it was a bully or a genuinely mean person who  wanted to damage us. My father was one of this latter group. I can still remember things he said to me when I was a little boy that cause me to suffer to this day. It doesn’t matter that I am a 67-year-old man and my father has passed on. Words can leave deep, lifelong scars. Learning to be kind and maybe even inspire people with my words is such an important practice to me. At the very least I try to practice the physician’s creed of “Do No Harm.” In my case it is very important to remember the habit energy I learned from my father as a child. I need to recognize that when anger or hurtful words arise in me it is often my father speaking through me. If I can catch myself and say, “This is Maynard speaking. I don’t have to allow his energy come through me,” it can save a lot of suffering.

I remember hearing Sister Chan Khong, one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s senior nuns, talk about habit energy at a retreat. She said that when she is meditating, she will become aware of old tapes playing in her head from her childhood. She recognizes this and doesn’t get pulled into the story. She says to herself, “Hello Daddy, I know you are there.” And as the thought passes she says, “Goodbye Daddy, I know you’ll be back.”

We can also learn to practice loving speech for ourselves. When an event happens that triggers me and brings back the mental abuse I suffered as a child, even today, it can seem so real. I can then try and remember Thay’s words, “You are enough.” I can say a phrase to myself like, “I am a good person, I can help people and I am safe.” Because I didn’t have loving parents, I am trying to learn to be my own loving parent. To do this I need to practice deep listening and loving speech with myself and my habit energies and to provide my own loving speech. It is a lifelong practice for me.

Deep Listening

Practicing deep listening to relieve suffering is what I do when I go into the state prison system. I go in as a Buddhist chaplain and provide a Buddhist service and education to the men. In one of my groups, we are currently reading Thay’s book, “The Other Shore,” on his translation of the Heart Sutra. I have them read several chapters in between my visits, we then discuss them, and I try to  answer any questions they may have. I love teaching in this way and giving them what knowledge I have. I also learn from them, which is a wonderful experience.

But some of my groups aren’t ready for studying the dharma. They may need to learn basic meditation practices. I try to teach them how to breath and settle into their bodies. Walking meditation is often a new experience. In Waupun prison, there is a huge problem with anger. One PIOC (prisoner in our care) said that when he lays down on his bunk to go to sleep at night he can feel the whole building pulsing with anger. Sometimes we talk about these lines from the fourth mindfulness training. “When anger is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak. I will practice mindful breathing and walking in order to recognize and to deeply look into my anger.”

One of the men has taken to wearing a rubber band on his wrist. Every time he feels anger arising,  he would snap it as a reminder to pause and take a breath. This worked well for him for quite a while until one day when I arrived and found out he was in segregation. This is an all too common occurrence in Waupun. On one occasion, I went into Waupun and found out that two of my regular guys were in seg. I had only one man that day named Gary. He was a quiet guy and had been coming for about a year. He had learned the basics of sitting meditation and practiced in his cell. He was not yet ready for deeper Buddhist study work. As I sat down with him, I wondered how our one and a half hours together were going to go. It turned out he wanted to talk, and I quickly discovered my role was to practice deep listening.

All the prisoners in Waupun are in single cells (no roommate). They rarely are allowed to leave their cells except for two showers a week, maybe an hour of recreation and religious services. They even take their meals in their cells. In short, they never have anyone to talk to. Gary had a lot to get off his chest and pretty much told me his life story including the crime that landed him in Waupun. Before I knew it, the chaplain came in to tell us our one and a half hours were up. It was a profound experience for me. Simply listening to someone with our full attention can be a great gift.

My time with Gary is one example. I have done that with others in the prison system. I also see one man at the Mendota Mental Health Institute. We have developed a deep connection over the last year or so. We both practice loving speech and deep listening with each other. He calls me chaplain Dave, which I think is kind of funny.

Importance of Your Presence

It is not just the formal institutional settings where deep listening is important. I think there are many people in the world who feel as if they are never listened to or heard. Maybe this is why so many people go to therapists. This is the only way they can find someone who will listen to them. They need to feel heard.

I’m reminded of a story that Thich Nhat Hanh tells: There is a young boy who has an upcoming birthday. His father is a very successful businessman who is always very busy with his job. He loves his son and knows that his birthday will soon arrive. He tells his son that he can have anything money can buy, toys, a puppy, a new iPad, all he has to do is ask. The little boy says “I don’t want any of those things Daddy. What I want is you.”

Our own presence in this present moment is the greatest gift we can give. We can learn to let go of our preconceived ideas of how we think a conversation will go and really listen. How many times have we been in conversations with someone and found ourselves planning what we are going to say when the person stops talking and there is a pause in the conversation. Were we really listening? I know I am guilty of having a conversation with my partner in which, when I hear the first part of the sentence, I think I know what she is going to say and stop listening. I need to work on staying present for her and everyone else in my life.

The Fourth Mindfulness Training is about connecting with people and building and maintaining relationships in our everyday lives. I think there is a great deal of wisdom in this training to relieve suffering, and, by practicing loving speech, to keep that suffering from happening in the first place. The world would be a much better place if we would all use “words that inspire confidence, joy and hope.”

That is the world I am trying to create.